What’s Really Mine?

Breaking away from what others thought I should do and be….

One of the themes coming up for me as I explore what I want to do next is what’s really mine? What I mean is, what are MY ideas and MY way of doing things and MY way of existing? People talk about how we become a product of our environment and influenced by the people around us, and as I expose myself to new environments and open space, I am deeply aware of how many other people’s beliefs I’ve been shedding along the way in order to find and ground in my own.

There are a few things I consciously left behind a year ago. One of them was “hustle.” This need to be everywhere and do everything in order to get whatever my objectives were. Instead, I took a step back, and decided to see what I wanted to do, do that, and see what develops from that, organically. Another thing I left behind is doing things the way other people tell me to, at the expense of my own natural instincts. Even in my own business I felt like the speaking I was doing was based around someone else’s words and I couldn’t find my own. I no longer want to speak someone else’s words to convert a room. I want to speak my own words to make a difference.
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“Finding a sense of myself I can now infuse it into everything I do.”

Spending a bit more time in New York than originally anticipated, I ended up at some networking events. One of the ones I went to felt like the room was filled with a multitude of egos. It made me disappointed because I had hoped to find myself in a room full of business peers. As I find my way, I’m curious about which rooms full of people will feel like my people, my tribe, my true colleagues. 

What I do know more strongly now is that what truly lights me up is doing and creating and meeting new people. I love brainstorming, creativity, coming up with new ideas and being in an evolution of change and growth. (If that meant I could grow a few inches taller too, sign me up!) This is what’s really mine; what makes me, me. Though at times I may walk into rooms that are “not mine” it’s still refreshing that I at least know the room I’m looking for. By becoming more me, I can feel more strongly where I feel aligned and not aligned. While that can be, at times, disappointing, it’s also deeply fulfilling to know how strong my sense of self has developed.
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