As You Discover Yourself, You May Not Like Everything You Find

The work of self discovery tends to come with a few punches. One of my issues recently resurfaced, right in the gut! I tend to make decisions via loyalty. The punch is, the loyalty my decisions are based on tends to be to someone or something other than me. As I type this, it sounds ridiculous! And, frankly, it pisses me off.

This loyalty issue has not served me well. It kept me in the wrong job and marriage for far too long. It kept me frustrated with bad customer service from my cell phone carrier for 10 years. It even got me abandoned at a train station by someone I thought was a friend. The irony is that in every case I knew what I wanted (e.g. To leave or not go at all) and yet instead of being loyal to myself I chose them. Each of my choices made for others instead of myself (when there were two conflicting desires) has led to me being unhappy, feeling like I settled for something I don’t want, or getting treated like shit.

I know, as a trained coach, awareness of an issue is only the first step. Actually changing how you deal with that issue is something else entirely. However, awareness is necessary to be able to make that change. I’m gaining a hell of a lot of self awareness on this journey!

Awareness and Change

Change takes time. Last year I went to Iceland. I saw the Northern Lights for the first time and it blew me away – it was such a deeply spiritual experience that I knew I had to see it again. I wanted to stay longer, but did my usual run-through of loyalty to everyone and everything but me and left on my planned departure date. Over many, many years, each time I went on vacation I wanted to stay longer. I would think about it and talk myself out of it with a long list of loyalties and responsibilities. The funny irony is that I created all those loyalties and responsibilities – so if I had the power to create them, I of course had the power to recreate them. But that was too overwhelming to consider, before Iceland, anyway.

When I got back to New York from that trip, I felt so deeply that I had made a mistake returning that I booked a return flight to Iceland leaving a few hours later! (If you want to read about the whole profound experience, you can click here). That was a huge step in breaking this loyalty to others pattern, in the moment. My ultimate goal is to be able to call out my loyalty issue in the moment so I can make a different choice right away, rather than later. However, later is still better than never!

That experience led to me taking this very adventure I’m on – I had to release loyalty, mostly, to family fears about my future that has been holding me back from doing what I want for years.

Most recently, I made another huge stride to overcome this self-defeating habit. When I was in Scotland, the day of my return flight, New York weather was predicted to be so bad that I got a weather waiver allowing me to fly home another day with no financial consequence. I’ve gotten them before, but my long list of loyalties and responsibilities got in the way of me using them. For the first time in my life I took advantage of it instead of creating excuses. I could have felt badly that I was breaking my commitment to be at the airport on a specific day and time. Instead, I chose to live in the moment and do what I wanted to do, for me.

In my quest to be happy with the life I create, I’m realizing that I first need to be willing to fight for what I want. I’ll be doing a lot more of that the rest of my life! 🙂

Learn about Heather and what set her on her world journey. She also explains why this life is not just for Millenials, it’s for anyone that wants to create a life around what they love most in life. 

Listen to an episode of the video interview series that will inspire you to follow your heart. Whether you want to travel full time or have another calling, this series is for you.

See the amazing people I’ve been meeting on my travels and the fun stories that go along with the meetings.

Check out my travel photos from around the world to see the world from wherever you are.

If you’ve been thinking that there’s got to be  more to life than work, or, you’ve lost your job, and wonder whether now is the time to do something you’re more excited about, this quiz will help you. Answer a few questions and get a free guide to help you know the areas you need to work on, followed up with inspirational and helpful tips to put your dreams into action.

Traveling the world full-time may sound glamorous and exhilirating. (In many ways, it is!) But, it’s not full-time fun. Before you decide to go, take this quiz to make sure you’re ready, and, if not, find out how to bridge the gaps.

This fun quiz helps you understand what your travel personality is, and how to make sure you indulge it when planning your next trip to maximize your enjoyment!

This one is pure fun – test your transcontinental travel trivia knowledge. Hit the button below if you dare take the quiz and see your score! 

If you enjoyed the first quiz, see how you do on the second one! More fun, more tricks, Click the button below to test your knowledge!

If you want to see every post I’ve written, starting with the most recent, this is the place to start!

In 2020, I was traveling in New Zealand as the coronavirus pandemic brewed, and, got stuck there. If you want to read about what this time was like and traveling during this time, check out this page.

Many of my blog posts are about things I’ve discovered about myself or about being, while I’ve traveled. If you’d like to focus on posts that only have self-discovery themes, click the button below.

I’ve been traveling the globe solo, and many of my posts share thoughts and resources specifically for other solo travelers. If you’re a fellow solo traveler, or you’re thinking about solo travel, this is a collection you will find of interest.

Sometimes I write posts where I give insider information on certain cities I’ve visited, which may be more along the lines of places to go, how to save money, etc. If that’s your main interest, check out this compilation of posts.

At the heart of international travel is learning about the many different cultures and ways of being around the world. The posts compiled on this page speak, specifically, about the cultural observations I’ve had.

If you’re looking to read blog posts about specific destinations, click the country of your interest below to go to it’s blog page and get country-specific reviews and thoughts.

Africa

Argentina

Brazil

Cambodia

Chile

Costa Rica

France

New Zealand

Peru

Portugal

Scotland

Thailand

Uruguay

Vietnam

 

Want more in-depth information about travel? Trying to figure out how to afford full-time travel (or, doing what you want to do, full-time)? Check out these items!

Looking for a photo or a travel-related item to reconnect with the spirit of travel? Check out this page to see some of my photos and where you can find them as prints and various photo-gifts..

Trying to create a more fulfilling life? Want help with planning out how to make your mark in the world? Check out this page to see how Heather can help you!

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