Nine Reasons You Should NOT Come To New Zealand. (Hint – They Aren’t What You Think They Are.)

Heather Markel, Writer, Speaker, Photographer, Traveler, Business Strategist

It’s always a good idea to learn about a place before you go for the first time.

It seems like everyone wants to come to New Zealand these days. With good reason! But, you should be aware that, for some, this is not the country for you. Here are nine reasons why you might not want to come here:

Beautiful flowers in bloom at Rolands Wood.

Copyright, 2020. Heather Markel.

1. You Enjoy Suing People

Back home in America lawsuits are second nature to our culture. You could sue someone for looking at you the wrong way, if you can prove what the wrong way is. Over here? Nope. People just don’t sue each other, and often laugh at mention of lawsuits. If you enjoy making federal cases of everything you can, this is not the right place for you.

2. You Can’t Live Without Concrete, Air Pollution, And Plastic Bags

If your dream place has concrete, lots of dumpsters, the waft of decaying garbage in the air and you hate scenic views, definitely don’t come to New Zealand. It’s surrounded by water, full of blooming nature and amazing scenery. You won’t enjoy it. They’ve also done away with plastic bags in grocery stores. You’ll have to get used to carrying a cloth bag everywhere you go, or paying for paper bags. If that sounds too overwhelming, definitely go someplace else.

New Zealand panorama

Just another typical New Zealand view you might get bored of if you don’t like great scenery.

3. You Can’t Handle Women Being In Charge

The leader of the country is a woman, Jacinda Ardern. (Love her!) Her opponent in the upcoming elections is another woman. Women rule here, literally. So, if you can’t deal with that, it’s another good reason not to come here.

4. Cannibis Isn’t Legal

But it might be next week after the vote. Fingers crossed.

5. Coffee Shops Close Early

If you were hoping for an outdoor, 24-hour caffeine experience, you won’t find it here. Work-life balance is a part of the culture, and your caffeine-addiction will suffer after 4pm.

6. You’re Lazy And A Couch Potato

People in New Zealand are active and do lots of exercise. You might feel a lot of pressure to get off your ass and take a walk. If you don’t like that kind of pressure, don’t come, because all the walks involve a steep uphill, somewhere, and it will leave you huffing and puffing. You might even lose weight. 

7. You Enjoy Sleeping To The Cacophony Of Traffic And Awaking To The Beep Of Your Alarm Clock

Most places in New Zealand are surrounded by nature and you may miss the loud honking and sirens you’re accustomed to when you go to sleep. Morning birds are very loud and usually on a different schedule than your alarm clock. You might find this all so annoying you won’t enjoy your visit to New Zealand.

8. You Hate Cows

Avoid New Zealand at all costs if you don’t like cows! I think there may be more cows than people. They are everywhere. It’s like there was a Global Cow Conference (GCC) and they all voted to move to New Zealand and graze on the rolling green hills. There’s even a town called Bulls which makes every cow pun possi-bull.

9. You Enjoy Calling People And Hanging Up Without Leaving A Message

All the fun of prank phone calls will be removed by how nice people are here. Most of the time, if people have a missed call on their phone, and no voicemail, they’ll call the number back to see what you need. Their politeness will ruin your mischievous ways.

New Zealand isn’t right for everyone. But, for those who come, you will feel incredibly blessed to spend time here. Whether for the scenery, the nature, or the people, it’s a glorious experience!