Moving Out to Move On •

Opening the Space to Create New Opportunities

I’m in one of the most precious places I’ve ever been in my life. It’s scary, exciting, and it feels like I’m doing the right thing even though I still can’t quite believe it. I officially moved out of my apartment in New York. I haven’t been without a place of my own since graduating college. It feels strange to be minus a home and yet, it was also the final obstacle/stability in my life keeping me from the life I wanted.

When I think about it, all the supposed stability I had in my life, up to this point, was ironically holding me back instead of supporting me. Marriage, predictable work and rent have been more like obligations than joyful. I have nothing against any of them, in fact, I’m sure I will have all that stability in my life again, but it will be in alignment with who I am rather putting someone else’s desires for me ahead of my own.

The Sacrifice – Exchanging Stability For the Unknown

I’ve given up so much during my journey – stable income in a familiar way, proximity to family and friends, a predictable life day in and day out, and now my home. If you have any envy for the life I’m living right now, realize that I’ve had to let go of a hell of a lot to make it happen. I guess this is where the bravery lies.

The process of moving was an upheaval. First, I had to decide. I didn’t want to make the choice, so avoided it as long as I could. Then, I had to inform the landlord I’d be leaving – that made it official. Gulp.

The first few boxes I packed were bittersweet. I didn’t want to do it, and yet I knew I had to. Tears, emotion. Then I looked out my window at the huge billion dollar tower that’s been in construction for 2 years. The workmen wake me up almost every morning with drilling and hammering, and I won’t miss that at all. They also took away my gorgeous view. It’s gone, so no point holding out.

Things got heated toward the end, I just have too much crap and even with help from friends, it took weeks to pack, and I could not throw out enough (though I did throw out a ton!) Watching the movers pack and wrap my furniture was so strange because it was going into a storage unit, not another apartment.

Realizing That I Am The Creator of My Own Life

As I walked through my empty apartment I had a delightful surprise. I had always thought it was my stuff that made a place feel like home. Yet, my stuff was gone. It was just me. It is just me that makes my home feel like home. I looked around at the empty space and realized if I had to fill it again, I’d want a lot less stuff, and a lot more open space. I thanked my apartment for the space it allowed me to fill in it, and in m own life. It was the perfect echo of how my life is now full of space that I can fill any way I want to.