As of the writing of this post, I am no longer in Portugal. I went to the airport and got on a plane, so, unlike when I went to Spain and then changed my mind within days, this seems more committed, though I know I can return any time. The destination choosing proved interesting. I almost ended up going to the airport and just choosing a place.
I found that a major struggle point for me in life has been making decisions. Sometimes I’m good at them, but often I feel like I’ve overwhelmed, especially when I can decide between a range of options, all of which sound entirely wonderful and full of potential.
My adventure has given me many, many points of decision. In fact, apart from the month or so I used a friend’s home as a base, I have been deciding where to go next every few days. Ironically, I still have a hard time figuring out where to go because I usually want to go to at least three or four different places. I’ve had to remind myself that I can visit all of these places at some point in the future. Just because I don’t go right this second, does not mean I never will.
What struck me as really profound, was my experience choosing Scotland after Portugal. I mused about going to Morocco, The Azores, Madeira, and Cape Verde as well as Scotland. Rolling around all the places in my mind I couldn’t decide. So, I went with what I felt. I tried to see each place and feel whether I wanted to be there. In the end, Scotland won because I felt connected to it, and decided I want to see a race of cow I never have, the Highlands, and Celtic anything.
What this process, the whole process of making fairly big decisions every few days (don’t forget I have to find a place to stay and figure out transportation, too!) is that I am in a really powerful place. Every day, I get to choose, and I have begun to realize that what I’m really doing is creating moments of choosing, which is much more empowering than moments of deciding. I get to choose, consciously, each step I make. Whatever happens, I get to keep making other choices all of which align with my happiness, or, take me away from it so I can learn more about what makes me happy. 🙂