Using Art To Delve In Deeper - How Paint Can Be a Path In the Journey •

I haven’t picked up a paintbrush in a long time. More than 10 years ago, I took a water painting class at my local YMJA in New York. I liked it and simultaneously pursued jewelry design and sewing. At some point I was making a lot of art, and hoarding supplies which put such a dent in my finances I had to reluctantly force myself to stop since I didn’t feel like exhibiting or selling in local fairs.

And so I found myself in the company of an artist. Admiring his work I began to desire the feel of the brush, but more importantly, the creation of intense colors. I realized this when I stumbled into an art store in a small town in Portugal. I had to fight the voices telling me not to spend all my money on art supplies, that it would be a waste since I can’t carry them with me. But I realized this time it was about the experience of creating much more than about wasting money. I was tempted to try oil paints but soon realized it was more complicated than just buying paint and a brush and paper, so stuck with the waterpaints.

22 euros later I had a small bag with supplies. A rainy day became the perfect time for me to practice. I pulled out my brushes, paints, paper and water dishes and set them up. I put some color and water into several dishes, delighted I could create purple and teal. The very first paper sat in front of me. I didn’t know where to start. So, instead of creating “painters block” I simply dipped in a color and splashed it onto the page. It was refreshing to see my brush stroke there, and I simply dipped and continued, cleaned my brush, chose another color, and kept going, until I felt the experiment was done.

Then I took out a second piece of paper and continued, this time thinking about a theme of some sun, sky and grass. Then I laid colors around it – and it appeared to me like a glimpse of the sun over the ocean.

I wanted more intensity, though. I love deep, rich colors, and so I dared to do something I had never thought of, I don’t know why not, and created rich, deep colors out of watercolor. Instead of a scene, I just allowed the richness to be my guide and to keep going into the colors, and finally, I made one last painting where blue was the foundation of every color, and then removed some color, as well as tied the painting together with some swivel lines.

Throughout the process, which I thought would just be fun, I realized that it echoed my own current journey. Stepping in with delight, but also fear, not knowing what will happen. Trying to be light, take it easy and be careful. As I progress, I am looking for my own theme, and the more I open up, the more bold I become, daring to take risks and do activities that scare me, and always looking for the richness and intensity of myself and where I can pull it all together into a place that feels like home.

Side note – when the artist saw my paintings he said he knew right away I was doing art therapy. 😉 I was amazed at all the forms I created from simply focusing on the color, kind of like a Rohrshach!