The Seduction of a Normal Life

On my travel break in New York, deciding to give up my apartment, I realized the seduction of a “normal life.” Walking along the streets I feel like I’m in a live version of the movie “The Maatrix” – it feels as if I’m among people but not in the same dimension. Everyone around me seems to be going to work, attending to their kids and/or pets, or retired and walking around. I however, am packing up my “real life” and venturing into the unknown.

I’ve called New York for most of my life. So when I spend any amount of time here the allure of that normal life everyone else is living is very strong at times. I wonder if I should quit the adventure and look for a job and keep my apartment. But, no. I don’t think I was born for a normal life. I’ve been trying for all these years to live normally, and perhaps that’s the problem. I need to live my way, not the way everyone else lives. And, in the end, normal is something different for each of us. I strongly believe each of us needs to take time in our life to figure out what that is for

I’ve spent so much of my life living someone else’s normal that I’m not sure what my normal is anymore. I’ve surrendered to the fact that figuring this out is a longer process than I had thought, and I’m committed to finding the answer. And though I may have known what I wanted for myself many years ago, I may want different things for myself now.

I’m not retired, I don’t have kids, I don’t have a pet, and soon I won’t have a home to call my own. While this all seems crazy, scary, and unbelievable to me, I’m realizing that this is simply me, embracing whatever normal is, for me. I’m learning as I go. I’m throwing myself all in, 100%, making a true commitment, to me. Universe, I’m here, I’m listening, I’m ready to step fully in to my calling.